I’m not like regular sports fans, I’m a cool sports fan. What makes a cool sports fan, you ask? Complete and total disdain for actual sports and an unyielding dedication to Great British Bake Off, of course.
For the next 12 Fridays, dinner must be soft foods. Absolutely no crunching allowed over the calming lull of British people making pudding in a panic!!! I want to hear every snide remark they make under their breath. I want to react in horror to the subtle sound of a cake hitting the floor off camera. I want to not choke when I gasp at a broken buttercream.
Tonight, my all-time favorite soft food: vegan mapo tofu. The fridge door says I should serve it over rice, but I’m really feeling noodles— sweet potato noodles if I’m feeling lazy, hand-pulled noodles if I’m feeling ambitious. Steamed broccoli on the side for health.